In this blog post, we’ll reflect on our tendency to turn a blind eye to death and the meaning of life, and discuss how we should come to terms with death.
Human memory tends to forget most things, yet it retains a single, vivid scene that we often dwell on for a long time. That memory might be something trivial, like a fight with a friend over snacks, or it might be a significant moment in life, such as a high school graduation ceremony. These memories come together to form a repertoire, and we repeat that repertoire when we talk about the past.
One of the memories in my repertoire is of myself crying before I started elementary school. It might sound a bit strange, but the reason I was crying back then was because I was thinking about death. I was so saddened by the fact that once I die, I won’t be able to do anything, and I think I was afraid that I wouldn’t even be able to feel the emotion of sadness anymore. As time has passed, I’m no longer as sad or distressed as I used to be, but even now, I often think that no matter how long a person lives, it’s only about 100 years; that after a few centuries, even the people who remember me will be gone; and furthermore, I wonder if humanity will even exist after tens of thousands of years have passed. Furthermore, I often feel as if a part of my heart turns black and sinks heavily when I imagine that even the sense of time itself might vanish—leaving only an instant to stretch on like an eternity—and that ultimately, only infinite time would remain.
This isn’t just my problem; everyone harbors a fear of death. And rather than facing death head-on, most people try to avoid thinking about it altogether and shake off that fear. This tendency is even more pronounced in modern society. Advances in medical technology have made it possible to predict the prognosis of diseases to some extent, and a vague belief that accidents won’t happen to oneself also plays a role. In the past, funerals were often held at home. Families gathered at home to be with their loved one in their final moments, and graves were frequently prepared near the home. Today, however, most procedures take place at funeral homes, and it is common to rely on professional funeral services to handle the process. In this way, we push the word “death” out of our daily lives and busily live only for today in the hope of living better.
But is death really something that has nothing to do with me? It’s worth thinking about at least once. People ask: Why should we even think about death, which isn’t exactly pleasant? Why should we worry about death when we’re already busy just getting through each day? Yet questions about life can never be separated from questions about death.
Let’s imagine a life without death. Just as there can be no sunlight without shadows, and no joy without sorrow, life would lose its radiance without death. There would be no reason to strive, everything would become the same, and all pleasure would be nothing more than a mere adornment. It is precisely because there is an end that the journey can shine.
Irim’s webtoon ‘The Dying Man’ depicts a man born into a wealthy family who was self-centered until he is given a terminal diagnosis of 100 days to live; the story follows his transformation as he contemplates how to live out his remaining time. With each passing chapter, the number 100 gradually decreases, and although the protagonist eventually meets his end, those 100 days leave a profound impact. If the reality of death hadn’t loomed so close, would the protagonist truly have been able to change so much?
If you think this is merely a story from a webtoon, consider the example of Alfred Nobel. Today, when we hear the name “Nobel,” the Nobel Prize naturally comes to mind. Surprisingly few people know that the Nobel Prize—awarded to those who have made significant contributions to human progress—originated from an incident related to death. In 1888, when Alfred Nobel’s older brother, Ludwig Nobel, passed away, a newspaper mistakenly reported it as Alfred Nobel’s death and published an obituary.
The headline read, “The Merchant of Death Is Dead.” Realizing that this was how he would be remembered after his own passing, Nobel subsequently left a will stipulating that most of his fortune be used to establish a prize for those who have contributed to humanity. In this way, we can say that our lives are imbued with meaning and value through death, and that they are only truly complete through death. It is precisely the finitude of life bestowed by death that makes our lives more valuable and radiant.
Nevertheless, many people view death in two distinct ways: their own death and the death of others. I, too, am one of those people. While volunteering at a hospice, I frequently receive news of patients’ passing. I get such calls almost every day. Although I knew that death was always nearby, I never truly felt it until I began receiving news of a patient’s passing once a day, which finally made me realize that it is a reality. Yet, even as I experience death in this way, I always think of my own death as something that lies far in the future. I imagine a future where I might get married, have children, or retire in old age, but I do not think about death, which could very well occur right in the middle of that journey.This is due to the duality of our perception of death. Caught between the most certain fact—“I will definitely die someday”—and the most uncertain fact—“I don’t know when I will die”—we fail to find a balance and end up turning a blind eye.However, we can consider just how foolish this avoidance is through a metaphor. Imagine taking a class for a semester where the only form of assessment is a single exam. However, you have no idea when that exam will be administered. In some cases, you might be told the exam will be held in an hour, but most often, you’re told to take the exam right now, without any warning. In this situation, some people will study diligently every class period, while others will review consistently once a week or every two weeks according to their own schedule. On the other hand, there will be those who do not study at all, assuming the exam will be administered at the end of the semester anyway. It is clear who will receive better grades. Yet, most people choose the latter option and live their lives that way. While preparing every day would be ideal, if that is difficult, one should at least live with the exam in mind from time to time—considering whether they could do well if the exam were held right now based on their own study cycle, and whether there is anything they have been putting off.In his book ‘How to Live’, Yoo Si-min argues that to ponder how to live, one must also consider how to die, and that to live well, one must die well. Life and death are like the two sides of a coin—they can never be separated. No one knows when the coin will flip. It is a sad but undeniable fact that death cannot be avoided. However, death is not a disease. Rather than trying to avoid it, let us accept it. Let us treat death as a mirror that reflects on today, and embrace it as a friend—for a better today and a better life. I would like to conclude this essay with the following maxim:The today you waste is the tomorrow that those who died yesterday so desperately wanted to live.
