In this blog post, we examine how the rise of Ashley Madison—a website that facilitates extramarital affairs for married individuals—is influencing our society’s views on marriage and moral values.
On February 26, 2015, in South Korea, the Constitutional Court ruled 7-2 that Article 241(1) of the Criminal Code—commonly known as the adultery law, which stipulates that “a married person who commits adultery shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than two years, and the person with whom the adultery is committed shall be punished in the same manner”—was unconstitutional. It is explained that changes in the times, such as shifts in public perception regarding privacy and a more open attitude toward sexuality, formed the basis for the unconstitutionality ruling.
In tandem with this, a website called “Ashley Madison” has emerged as a hot-button issue. Ashley Madison, a Canadian-based online dating site that lures users with the slogan “Life is short, have an affair,” facilitates encounters between married individuals. Although access to the site had previously been blocked by the Korea Communications Commission, it has re-entered the Korean market following the repeal of the adultery law, sparking heated debate.
Given that Korean society is deeply rooted in Confucian values, it may be natural for people to view Ashley Madison with a critical eye as it targets this “delicate” niche. If you talk to people around you or check social media, you can see that many citizens are unable to hide their discomfort. The government is also taking various actions that seem to reflect these sentiments. Since the abolition of the adultery law, several lawmakers have proposed related bills, and the National Assembly has begun serious work on amending laws to address this issue.
However, there is an interesting point. Before the adultery law was abolished, the site recruited tens of thousands of domestic members in a short period after entering the Korean market, and the number of subscribers has surged since the law was abolished. This demonstrates that many citizens privately hold a positive view of the site’s entry into the country, despite it going against the prevailing public sentiment. In fact, the non-profit organization OpenNet issued a statement titled “Should Ashley Madison Be Blocked?” and even put the brakes on the government and National Assembly’s efforts to block Ashley Madison.
So why do people sign up for this site? The answer is obvious. Ashley Madison arranges private meetings between married individuals, and members pay a certain amount of money in return. In other words, people use the site because they desire sexual encounters with someone other than their spouse—in other words, an affair. There are more such people than one might think, and their numbers are steadily increasing. What is the reason for this?
Although methods and systems vary by country, in modern society, unrelated men and women generally marry and make vows to leave their respective families and build a new one together. Marriage demands fidelity, requiring that sexual relations be confined solely to one’s spouse. The primary motivation for marriage lies in participating in legal and loving sexual relations to build a family and bear children. This motivation is the most fundamental value underlying marriage.
Adultery goes against these fundamental values of marriage, which is why it is almost universally taboo in our society. Yet, surprisingly, adultery occurs more frequently than one might think. According to a survey conducted by a Korean research institute targeting married women aged 24 to 35, a staggering 43.3% answered “yes” to the question, “Do you have a lover other than your husband?” According to a master’s thesis titled “A Study on Extramarital Relationships Among Married Men and Women” from the Department of Family Studies at Sungkyunkwan University, a survey of 196 women living in Seoul and Gyeonggi Province revealed that 40.3% of married women had experienced an extramarital relationship in the past or present.
Amidst this, a very quick shortcut called Ashley Madison has emerged. Membership can be obtained simply by entering basic information, making it easily accessible to anyone. On the site, members can share information with one another and easily select partners they like, allowing them to contact multiple people without any pressure. Because of these advantages, the number of people visiting this site to find an affair partner is steadily increasing.
So why do people turn to someone else while still married? There are various reasons for having an affair, but the fundamental reason is that the relationship with one’s spouse has become neglected. As the relationship continues, the experience of passionate love fades, emotions gradually grow dull, and one naturally begins to desire a relationship with someone else. In other words, people engage in affairs to fill a void of satisfaction they cannot obtain from their current spouse.
So, does engaging in an affair ultimately provide the emotional fulfillment one seeks? In other words, can people who join this site truly receive the emotional fulfillment they need? I hold a negative view on this matter. Taking painkillers to forget the pain after breaking a bone by hitting a rock is not a cure. Rather, it only builds up a tolerance to the painkiller; to heal the bone, sufficient rest and nutrition are necessary. In other words, engaging in an affair driven by immediate desires ultimately remains limited to a physical relationship and the pursuit of pleasure alone—it cannot be a fundamental solution. Instead, it only leads to the destruction of a precious family.
Therefore, it is crucial that we establish the right values regarding infidelity. Ashley Madison is a harmful website that promotes infidelity using the dangerous phrase “healthy affairs,” luring those captivated by one-dimensional desires and extracting money from their wallets. I do not want readers to be seduced by such a low-class site. It is my hope that everyone will share mature love based on values regarding marriage and sexuality that do not betray the fundamental values of our society.
